A Sabbatical

I'm going to take some time off from social media. I'm addicted. Really, truly addicted. I think in Instagram captions and Facebook updates. I've realized this for a while, and it would give me a chuckle, but it's no longer funny to me.
Last night, while checking Facebook before going to bed, I learned that one of my favorite fellas from high school has cancer. In his wife's update, she thanked everyone for their offers of food, babysitting, etc, but said the best thing any of us could do is pray and donate blood. I thought, I can surely do that. And my very next thought was not bowing my head on behalf of my buddy and his precious family. I was already mentally writing a post about donating blood for the first time, no one could get me in that chair but Cole! hahahaha....
To quote one of my least favorite people on earth, it was an Ah-ha moment. It was pathetic. Sickening. I have a problem.
I don't think that social media is the problem. I think it can be a fantastic way to stay in touch with people that you otherwise wouldn't. I can keep up with friends I've made at each stop on our coaching road, from various church camps, or my Phi Lamb sisters. I've gotten to "know" Dad's players that are quite a bit older than me, or people that Cameron grew up with, that I would never have gotten a chance to in real life. And not a day goes by where I don't have someone telling me how much they look forward to hearing what crazy things the girls have said lately, or see their precious faces. I love sharing them. But I don't like this part of me.
I've always known I have a tendency to become addicted to things. Coca-Cola, I'm looking at you! There are lots of reasons why I don't drink alcohol, that's chief among them. I have such self discipline in a few areas of my life, none at all in others. Cameron and I have been talking a lot about this lately. About trying to take control of the things that I let control me. I'm (trying) to make a lot of changes to the way I do things: studying the Word, eating, exercising, spending money (both not on some things, and ON other things,) the way I keep books for our business... Adding my phone, and all that is on it, to that list never crossed my mind. How glaringly obvious that it should be at the top.
So, I'm going to take the month of January off. Like, removing those apps from my phone, off. I'm not deleting anything, just avoiding. After that, I'll have to learn where my boundaries are. Hopefully I'll get to the point where I don't even realize I'm without these silly little time suckers.

So I'm NOT crazy!

My health has been pretty poor the last few years. I haven't been really sick, but I have had some persistent, nagging symptoms that I've been dealing with.

• Exhaustion, like bone crushing, can't put one foot in front of the other exhausted. Going to bed early doesn't help. Sleeping late does some, but what mom can do that everyday?
• My allergies are worse than ever. And I just feel pretty poopy all around.
• I'm over weight. I certainly don't expect to look like I did in high school or college (I mean, I wouldn't hate it if I did...) but I understand that I am at a different season in my life, and I am honestly ok with that. But THIS overweight isn't ok. I had an eye injury 9 years ago that damaged my optic nerve, so to preserve my eye and vision, I was put on high doses of Prednisone for 9 weeks. That's a long time to be on such a strong steroid, and I gained a lot of weight on it. Baby weight fell of me (thanks breastfeeding!) but that steroid weight is a little more stubborn. I've worked at it over the years with little to no results, so never stuck with anything for very long. And of course, my food allergies prevent me from eating super clean.
• Remember when you're pregnant and you get brain fog? Mine never went away. I forget why I walked in to a room. I'll forget to run an errand that Cameron needed. I'll forget to feed my kids. Not really on that last one, they'd never stand for it ;)
• I lose patience with my kids too easily. And my husband is not excluded from this. I'm weirdly emotional about EVERYTHING.

The hardest part of all of this was that, at this point in my life, with the family and life that Cameron and I have created, I am the happiest I have ever been. And I don't feel well enough to enjoy it.


Moms, I know that most of y'all deal with similar stuff. But I felt like my case was severe. So I finally sought some help. I did some hormone testing, both saliva and blood tests. My results were horrible. And awesome. Horrible, as in my body does not function. Like, at all. I'm not producing much progesterone. I'm not producing hardly any testosterone. My adrenals are fatigued, which means they're not producing cortisol or DHEA. I won't go in to what all these hormones affect, but it's basically everything that has been wrong with me. And my thyroid levels are really low, as well. I started researching, and oh my goodness! These hormone deficiencies explain everything! That's the awesome part. To quote the NP who was consulting me, the results were very validating. I love that word. I'm not crazy! I'm not just lazy, and unmotivated, with no will power and a temper. Now, believe me, I know that I can't blame 100% of where I am, where my body is, on this new information. But the psychological effect of feeling so horrible for so long, and nothing I had done helped, makes you just kind of... give up. Or as they've said for years, let myself go.


So, I now get to figure out a way to right all that is wrong.

• I've started taking a bioidentical hormone replacement therapy (BHRT) to replace what I'm not producing. My thyroid levels are low, but not low enough to start any therapy for it yet. I will have my levels rechecked every 6 months. The idea is just to take them for a few months, to give my glands a much needed rest and begin functioning properly again.
• Even though eating clean is extremely difficult for me, I'm just going to have to do it. My list of things I can eat will be minimal, and I will get sick of them so very quickly, but it's something I have to get over. And of course, my most difficult task, finally kicking my coke addiction.
• A difficult part of adrenal fatigue is that strenuous exercise exacerbates the problem. I won't be able to work out much for several more weeks. I can walk, do some yoga, maybe some light strength training, but my adrenals need to recover before I can really get after it. But now, I'll have the energy to actually do something! Because....

One of the nurses at one of my many doctors visits over the last few weeks suggested something else I might try, in addition to the BHRT. She said, "Have you ever heard of a product called Plexus?"
Um, YES! I had several friends begin taking Plexus over the last few months. Their results, both weight and overall health, were amazing. I ordered a trial from a friend and LOVED THIS PRODUCT! I took it for a week, and felt better than I had in years. I still felt like I had some issues that needed to be addressed by a medical professional, so I didn't proceed with it. But to have a NURSE recommend it for my severe issues?! I was so excited to hear that!
So I've been back on it for a couple of weeks. And I don't feel fantastic. But I feel better. I have more energy, earlier in the day than I had. I would probably feel even MORE better (how's that grammar for you!) if I could remember to take what I needed every day.
There are a lot of products out there right now. I've tried a few of them. Of course, now I know why my body didn't respond to any of them. But it did respond to Plexus. Even before I'd started on the BHRT. I am so grateful to have found bioidenticals AND Plexus. I plan to be off the BHRT just as soon as my body allows, but Plexus will be something that I think will benefit me for years to come.

The Big 3-0

I've been looking forward to turning 30. It'll be nice to be in the same decade as my husband for the first time in our married life. The next decade will be awesome. But it won't compare to my 20s. Because my 20s brought me these three. I started them by marrying this amazing fella. Then spent the next few years having his babies. And they're the two most awesomest babies in the whole wide world.

In February, Cameron and I celebrated 10 years together. It's been an amazing ride. We talked a lot about where we'll be 10 years from now, as I turn 40.

We'll have a 16 year old and a 14 year old. Those two teenagers will have us so busy, our world will spend a million miles an hour. They may be athletes, into drama or band, all of the above or none of the above. No matter what, it'll be a blast. Cameron will be on the verge of 50! I bet he doesn't have a brown hair left on his head (we will have teenagers, after all!) but he'll still be the hottest dad around. And maybe, MAYBE, by 40, I'll finally get in shape :)

I took a pretty long hiatus from blogging. It got to feeling like an obligation. I dreaded having to blog. So I quit for a little while. Probably at the worst time, as my kids have grown, changed, and achieved so much over the last couple of years. But I finally miss it. So I'm going to try to ease back into it.

Chore Charts

I've been trying to become a better housekeeper. It's the area of my life where I fail the most, among many others. Now that my girls are older and able to entertain themselves for extended periods of time, and I don't have to keep an eagle eye on them constantly, I really have no excuse. I am crazy OCD about some things, but not everything. I like to say my OCD is bi-polar, or has amnesia.
So, I've been taking steps to create better habits. I don't want to hate house work, or have an overwhelming amount to do at any one time. I want to pick things up without realizing it. I want to automatically get up to wash dishes after supper. I'm also working on my attitude towards housework. It's not going to be fun. Ever. But it's not that bad, and I want my girls to see that I do everything with a cheerful heart. Even dishes.
I also want to instill these habits into the girls. I thought something laid back, do-able, and visual would be the best for them. So I browsed Pinterest, gleaned ideas from a few things, and created this "Chore Chart."

 

 

I went to the promised land, I mean Hobby Lobby, and got three thin metal sheets, and three 12x16 picture frames. I had to cut about 2 inches off the metal sheets with tin snips, and then spray painted them pink. I put the glass from the frames behind the metal to keep the frame full and so the tin didn't push back into the frame when the girls were using them. I used my new Cricut (love!) to cut out their names, then went ahead and sprayed a little glitter on them, girls need glitter, and glued the letters on with krazy glue.

For the "chores," the girls and I made a list of all the chores that were appropriate for their age and abilities, and I found corresponding pictures on clipart sites. I krazy glued each picture to some little wooden plaques, probably about 2"x3", and then glued magnets on the back. I still intend to modge podge the tops, or something, because the edges of the cardstock will come up at some point, sooner rather than later.

The girls did really well with the first day of official chores. I only plan on assigning two to three on a daily basis, but there will be days where we'll ALL have more chores to do. I really hope it sticks.

So much sweetness in one little picture

I love this picture of my babies. I love how Brynna is leaning on her big sister, and how D'Laney is genuinely not bothered by it. They are so sweet, in general, but they are really sweet to each other. Only recently have we had any issues with fighting or bickering, and even then it is minor. They usually get along very well, and I was just watching them tonight talking to each other, and remarked to Cameron that they talk like peers, like actual friends. It makes me so happy, I hope they always are this close.

Flashback Friday

I haven't done one of these in a while. I think I've posted these pictures before, but I just can't get over how much Brynna Belle looks like Cameron.

I think they're both so cute!

Dayspring School

The girls started at Dayspring School this morning. It's a Tues/Thurs school at North A Church of Christ in Midland. Although D'Laney could have started kindergarten this year, we decided a long time ago to hold her, but put her in some sort of two or three day a week pre-school. We didn't intend on starting Brynna yet, but it would have been so hard on her for D'Laney to start without her. Plus, I signed up to be the sub at Dayspring, which waved Brynna's tuition fee, so we went ahead and put her in.
I think they love it. They haven't really said much about it, which is weird for my two. But both said they were really excited to go back on Thursday, so that says something, right? :)

I love Brynna's expression. It sums her up pretty well.

We've always called D'Laney laneybug, and Brynna Belle likes Bumble Bees (the whole double B thing makes it so cute!)

Modeling the oh-so-important first day of school outfits.

Such sweet sisters. They love each other so much, makes my heart happy.

Sitting at her desk like a big girl! I didn't get emotional all day... until I saw this picture! What a mess I'll be next year when she starts Kindergarten!

Brynna's class will be more play than anything.

 

 

I hope they continue to love school, not just throughout this year, but throughout their lives. I always did, even though I didn't love school work :)