probably only funny to me

I'm exhausted and going to bed at 9! I'm actually excited about that! But I wanted to note, because I just realized, that last week's flashback of Cameron playing football and the week before's flashback of me as a very small child, were taken the same year! Within weeks of each other, actually! LOL, gotta love a 9 year age difference. We don't even notice it anymore, but every now and then we're reminded. I just thought it was funny and wanted to let y'all know.

Flashback Friday

I don't have much to post about. My parents have had D'Laney all week, and I have gotten absolutely nothing done I had planned, except catch up on rest. But that was the whole point, so I guess I got that done.

For today's flashback, how about an old picture of Cameron. In honor of two-a-days starting this week, my studdly husband:

Lazy Saturday

We've done a whole lot of nothing today, which has been wonderful! Cameron is still pretty down about losing his friend, so D'Laney and I have kind of let him have his space and grieve in peace. He did cook me a yummy breakfast this morning, well, it was more like brunch, but pancakes are good no matter the hour. D'Laney took a 3 hour nap (yay!) and we layed on the couch and watched old football games, one of us saying about every 30 seconds, man, I can't wait for college football to start! We also decided on a name for the baby.... Brynna Belle! I'm not sure that Cameron is completely sold on it, but I wasn't completely sold on D'Laney at first either. We sort of got the Lynn into her name, so now both of my girls have part of my name in theirs. Of course, if Brynna is anything like her big sister, the name is all she'll get from me. D'Laney is 100% Cameron. My niece pointed out to me that our initials are now ABCD! It was meant to be!

a more upbeat post

A scattered brain = a scattered post.... you've been warned.

• It's Friday!! I don't love fridays as much as I used to (football season doesn't start for another month) but fridays do mean that I get Cameron home for 2 days. I have ulterior motives for being excited that he's home, it means that I get a little bit of a break from the monkey. I love spending time with my husband, don't get me wrong, but it's a welcome break. He's actually going to be home by lunch today, they shut everything down and gave everyone the rest of the weekend off after the wreck.
• Wednesday we hit 19 weeks, which is the half way point for me! I doubt I'll go much farther than 38 weeks, so we're half way done. It seems like I've been pregnant forever already, but hopefully the last half will go much faster than the first. I'm feeling her move a lot, and actually felt her with my hand a couple nights ago. Cameron tried to feel, but she was done. He didn't mind, feeling the babies move really freaks him out. He could watch D'Laney move towards the end of her pregnancy, but he didn't like feeling it. I've had a little more energy the last few days (the fact that Cam has been rained out and home so that I could nap is probably why!) but my appetite is way down. Some days I can't eat much at all, and other days, I can't get enough, though those days are few and far between. I worry a little bit about the baby not getting all the good stuff she needs, but she's growing fine, so I'm not going to worry too much. When I was pregnant with D'Laney, I didn't worry about anything at all, never once did I think anything was wrong or that I wasn't doing something right, but I'm paranoid all the time with this one. I guess because everything has been so different this time around. It's probably because we've got so much other stressful things going on besides the pregnancy that we weren't worried about last time. I'll just feel a lot better when she's here, for a lot of reasons.
• I'm a weak mother. I gave in. D'Laney now has her paci back, but only when she's going to sleep. That's really the only time she's ever had it. I just could not go any further without getting any sleep. My health was suffering, I couldn't take it anymore. And she has slept like a champ for 3 nights in a row now (and so have I, probably why I'm feeling so much better) and taken around a 3 hour nap everyday. I really thought it would just take a couple days and she'd be fine, but it had been over 2 weeks and she was still screaming for hours and not sleeping at all! We tried everything from letting her scream, rocking her for hours, giving her a new lamb that was just for sleepytime, letting her sleep on the floor, everything! We did draw the line at letting her sleep with us, that's a rule that I'm proud to say we have stuck to for 2 years now, we're not going to break it now. I know that at some point she'll be ready to let it go, maybe when the baby gets here and she sees that only babies take a paci, and she's a big girl, so she doesn't need one. Hopefully it's before then, but I'm okay with it if it's not.
• We're going to dive back into potty training now, and this time I'm going to be much more diligent. My pediatrician recommended a book to help, but it involves a doll that wets on a potty, and I don't like that, so I'm just going to keep doing like I did before, just more aggressively.
• I just about have the girls' bedroom figured out. I went to several fabric stores and found a couple patterns that I really like. I've made a list of all the things that I want in their room and how I'd like it arranged. I'm pretty excited about it, I think it'll turn out really cute. I've been thinking about the rest of the rooms in that house and how I'll decorate them. I've really been trying to keep my mind busy!
• Still no lookers for the house. I did see a car pull up yesterday in front of the sign so maybe they were writing the agents number down and they'll call. I'm beginning to stress a little about it.
• Still no name yet, either. I'm beginning to stress a lot about that. I feel terrible that this little girl doesn't have a name! Cameron doesn't feel a rush since she won't be here for a few more months, but I feel such an urgency. I think it's because I don't feel much of an attachment to this baby yet. I can feel her move and I know she's coming, but most of my thoughts are still on D'Laney. And I know that'll change, I'm not worried about "how am I going to love another one as much," it's just that right now, this baby is still sort of abstract to me, and I think that having a name for her will help. I feel guilty that I'm not as obsessive about her arrival as I was for D'Laney's, but, like I said, we have so much more going on right now. And we do have a pretty good ways to go. But I'm going to sit Cameron down this weekend, tell him why it's so important to me to find a name for her, and not let him out of the house until it's settled (and he agrees to my name! J/K, sort of.) It's supposed to keep raining all weekend, so what else is he going to do?
• Thank the Lord for all the rain! It has rained at least a little every day this week since tuesday, and is supposed to continue through the weekend.
• Cameron thinks the cloth diapering idea is crazy. I knew he would, but he doesn't know much about how far it has come in the last few years. He thinks that we'll get all this stuff, and after a couple weeks, I'll get sick of it and go back to disposables. And he might be right, so if I decide to do it at all, I might just buy a few diapers and try it for a week or two, and then decide. My friend Lauri said that she's going to do cloth when her little boy gets here in a couple months, so I might call her after he gets here and see if she likes it and how the process really works. I can read about it until my eyes fall out, I'm way more mechanical and have to actually see the process in action.
• My computer is giving me fits! It randomly closes all the windows I have pulled up without warning. Ugh!
• My cell phone has had a completely blank screen for a week now. I can still call in and out, but I can't see who's calling or call anyone that I don't know the # for, and I have no way of knowing if I've missed any calls. And forget about texting. I went to the Verizon Wireless store (who bought out Alltel, which I didn't know about) and they said that my phone was too old to really do anything about that, and since I'm eligible for an upgrade, I might as well get a new phone. I could get one of the cheapy phones for free, but I'm thinking about getting a blackberry or another "smart" phone. Any suggestions?
• Generic brand Cheerios taste nothing like the real thing. (today's a day where I can't get enough to eat) I'll have to add that to the list of things that I won't scrimp on.

I warned you that this post would be scattered.

Finally, for today's Flashback Friday, here's a family pic from long long ago. This was in '91 or '92, I can't remember, Dad's team had just won district. We have another picture just like this from my senior year where I'm cheering, Dad's coaching, and Lucas is playing, and we had just won bi-district, but I'm sure it's still in a box somewhere at my parents new house. I thought that I had it and was going to do a then and now, well not really now, but more recent. Oh well, here it is. D'Laney looks so much like my brother in this pic.

Rough day

This morning has been rough for Cameron. First, he hit a lady's dog while she was out walking this morning. He said she was nice about it, but he could tell that she was pretty upset. Then he's heading to work, and he gets a call that some of his co-workers had been in an accident. Those involved were John, who he's worked with for years, John's girlfriend Sherry, and Sherry's son-in-law Travis, who is also John's cousin. Catch all that? Apparently, some one ran a stop sign and T-boned John's truck. It was a pretty bad accident. Travis didn't make it, and Sherry was conscious but not coherent. John was pretty banged up, but not as bad as the other two. Both people in the other vehicle died as well. Travis and Sherry's daughter have a new baby that might be 3 months old, if that. Cameron is taking it very hard. He had to go on to work today, they've been rained out for a couple days and are way behind, and now very shorthanded. Cameron had to drive by the wreck on his way to work, so he stopped to talk to his boss, who was there. He said he knew the outcome, but it really hit him when he realized that John and Sherry were the only one's they had taken away. Travis and the other two were still at the scene. Cameron didn't see them, but knowing they were there was a little too much for him, he had to leave. Please keep this family in your prayers, especially that sweet baby and her momma, and Cameron's whole company. They're a pretty tight-knit group.

I have a more upbeat post for today, but I'm going to go cuddle with my baby for a while and thank God for all my blessings.

I must be crazy

Well, I know I am, but never for this reason:

I am seriously thinking about cloth diapering!

Crazy, right? I never never ever thought I would even consider this. I'll elaborate on what got me on this crazy train of thought.
If and when our house ever sales (and it really really needs to, seriously, guys, we really need your prayers on this) we will almost definitely be moving back to Iraan and out onto a ranch. While we were down there this weekend, we went out to the house to take a look at it, as I had never been inside. It's about half the size of our house now, but almost exactly the size of our house at Miles, with a much better layout. I was very pleasantly surprised. It is however, in the middle of nowhere. While I love this fact, it is going to take some getting used to. I've always lived in itty bitty towns, or not even in a town, but I've never lived more than 30 minutes from a bigger place (aka: a walmart!) and so I'm going to have to learn how to really plan shopping trips and buy in bulk (and organize and store said bulk!) I'm already practicing menu planning and buying groceries accordingly, but if you run out of something... toilet paper, soap, diapers... there's no running to the store to get it. There is a grocery store and a dollar store in Iraan, but because they're the only thing around, they're ridiculously high, if they even have what you need. We're seeing it now, but we'll really see it then: we're going to have to learn to live on not much money. In actuality, we'll probably be netting the same income, but we have got to rebuild our nest egg, the last year of a down economy has really taken it's toll on us.
So all this got me thinking about ways we'll be able to save money, and there are so many things we're already putting into effect. The biggest expense will obviously be the girls, although having another girl instead of a boy will save us so much right off the bat. Breastfeeding will, too, Lord willing it's as easy as it was last time. So the only real expense for the new baby will be diapers. And that's what brought me to cloth. I know that it's probably more expensive to get started on cloth, but from what I'm reading so far, you make up for it in just 2 or 3 months. Here's what I'm thinking so far:

• the cost will be less. That's my #1 reason.
• I'm not a huge "green" person, I do what I can when I can, but I'm usually not too concerned about it. Using cloth is better for the environment, though.
• We'll be out at the ranch, so we'll be burning our trash. Diapers don't burn. So we'd have to bag them up and take them to a dumpster in town, which will be a huge hassle.
• We'd be on well water, so I'm not concerned about the extra water usage with all the extra washing.
• I'll be staying home and the only frequent traveling I would be doing would be to church, so I'm not as worried about having to deal with a lot of dirty diapers in public.
• However, cloth has come a long way and is so popular right now, and there are so many accessories to make it easy and stinky-free. Even things to make out of town trips fairly hassle-free.

So that's what I'm thinking. What do y'all think? Do you know anyone who has used cloth? Pros vs. cons? I've got some time to figure it all out, but you know me, I like to have things planned and figured out WAY in advance. I'm also thinking about putting the girls in the same room. That little house has three bedrooms, but if the girls share a bedroom, we can use the third room as a play room to put all the toys D'Laney doesn't play with and as storage, which we'll definitely need.

In other news, potty training has been put on hold because of our paci crisis we're in the middle of. Apparently, the trauma of not having her trusty paci has caused D'Laney to develop some sort of separation anxiety, but only when it's time to go to sleep. She will not nap during the day, it's an hours long, screaming fight. And at night, she was doing pretty well, but has had 2 or 3 nights over the last two weeks that were just horrible, last night being the latest. She will be so sleepy she can't walk straight, but won't lay down. Unless, of course, I'm right beside her. She even took her pillow out of her bed and put it on the floor so I could actually lay down beside her last night. Once she's what I think is dead asleep, I'll put her back in her bed, go to leave, and she'll wake up and scream and cry like I cut her arm off and was taking it with me. So I thought, I'll just let her sleep on the floor. We both lay back down, she goes back to sleep, and I get up to leave, and here we go again, blood curdling screams. I got maybe 4 hours of sleep last night, and of course she hasn't napped yet today so that I could catch up a little. The only reason I don't just let her scream for hours is because Cameron has to get up and leave at 5, and when she's up screaming, we're all up, and he needs his sleep. She has also learned to climb over the gate in her door. Cameron had the idea to put it a few inches higher, not to where she could crawl underneath, but so that she couldn't climb it. I thought it was a great idea, until she came crying into our room at 3 this morning. Did I mention that? 3 am has been her consistent wake up hour. I do not understand this, she has never been any sort of attached to me. I have been so tempted to give in and give her back her paci, but I DO NOT want to lose at this. I'm way more stubborn than she is!

D'Laney's birthday invite

I'm using smilebox for the first time. I tried making her invitations on scrapblog like I always do, but you have to pay for most of the stuff on there now, and that just makes me angry. We're just doing a family party this year, and we're doing it at our house and those who can make it, great, those who can't, we totally understand. It's hard to get a party in angelo and one in iraan together, so I've just decided to do it this way. I'm emailing these invites just for the fun of it, word of mouth is probably how we'll let everyone know the details. I just wanted to test this smilebox thing on here.

Make a Smilebox invite